Dear Editor,
Last weekend, a series of conflicts erupted at a local bar in the Carmichael Road area which ultimately led to the death of a young woman and the hospitalization of an adult male. At the core of many such disputes in The Bahamas, is the inability of individuals to effectively manage and resolve conflicts. Conflicts (disagreements between two or more individuals) can arise from many different sources such as competing goals, personality differences, scarcity of resources and differences in values among others. Nevertheless, when confronted with conflict, most Bahamians are not equipped with the necessary conflict management or resolution skills to avert conflict escalation. Despite this abysmal analysis, a national ‘buy in’ and strategic nationwide implementation of conflict management awareness and training can proactively combat many of our current social problems.
At the most basic level, Bahamians can be educated on the 5 conflict management styles as put forth by conflict management theory. They are:
- Accommodating (“I lose-you win”) – this is where one party defers to another at the expense of his/her own goals and objectives and for the sake of peace. It is also done to preserve future relations with the other party. In relation to criminality, this is where individuals are taken advantage of, bullied and exploited.
- Avoiding-(“draw”)-this is where no party loses and no party wins because the conflict is simply avoided. In this situation, the problem is not addressed and no outcome, good or bad, is realized. This is where conflicts are never resolved and place individuals at a stalemate for years and years. Internal family drama over property, “outside” children etc falls in this category.
- Collaborating-(“I win-you win”)-this is where both parties see the value of working together and do so to achieve their goals. This situation requires consensus building and a high degree of trust between parties. This is the most beneficial of the styles and the least sought after in Bahamian culture primarily because of a lack of trust stemming from the “black crab” syndrome.
- Competing-(“I win-you lose”)-this is where one party seeks to dominate the other, achieving his/her goals at the expense of the other party. The criminal mentality and the prevalence of criminal behavior in Bahamian society can trace its origin to this particular style. In addition, this style is readily accepted in Bahamian culture as a preferred outcome in many non-criminal interactions as well.
- Compromising-(“l lose-you lose”)-this is where neither party achieves their ultimate goal. They must compromise to win some and lose some. In these situations, both parties come to mutually agreeable terms that they can ultimately “live” with. A degree of trust and cooperation is also required in this style.
In everyday situations of conflict, knowing one’s style is essential for improving one’s self-awareness and to inform of one’s default patterns. As the saying goes “knowing is half the battle”. Once we are aware of our individual styles and default patterns, we can consistently seek to test the effectiveness of each style and adopt the best possible style to our everyday situations of conflict. Insodoing, we will be well on our way to offsetting many conflicts which eventually escalate to the most heinous of crimes: murder.
Howard R. Johnson
Conflict Management & Resolution Expert
Johnson2k78@hotmail.com